


Through Time and Space and Across Realities (Or, My Cabbages!)

by MycroftRH



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Doctor Who (2005), Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 20:04:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2282838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MycroftRH/pseuds/MycroftRH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An incomplete chronicle of the many trials and travails of a humble, harmless cabbage merchant.</p><p>(The Cabbage Man travels through universes.  None of the universes seem to properly appreciate cabbages.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gabriel, the Trickster

A small man pops into existence, projecting an air of permanent swagger. He flicks his eyes up to the darkening sky, to the void of darkness and swirling torment of a trillion souls that threatens to break apart the tops of the highest skyscrapers even now, gaining power with each scream from the terrified city below. He raises an eyebrow. ”Not my problem.” He catches sight of the cabbage cart and smirks brightly. ”Aha! Precisely my sort of problem.”

A quick handwave sets a shimmer over the cart. It clears to show that all of its contents are far shinier than before. Gabriel grabs one and takes a lick. ”Candy cabbages! Much better. I’ll have to write that down. Never know when Sam might try to force salad on you, y’know.” He grabs another two green spheres, tucks them under one arm, and gives the cabbages' erstwhile guardian a quick salute before disappearing as quickly as he came.

Blood-wet rain starts to fall from the agonised sky. The cabbages drip green and begin to melt together.


	2. Steve Rogers

Someone darts around the corner, brightly clad in red and blue, with stars across his chest and on his shining shield. He glances left, then right, then ducks behind the cart.

"Get down!"

The ground starts to shake in beats, once, then again, then again. A shadow falls over the sun. The beats grow louder and harsher and cabbages begin to fall from the cart, bouncing across the ground. Strange colored lights shine across the street. High above, turning a corner, is a titanic metal monstrosity, its chest glowing in brightly tinted patterns.

"Dammit, Tony, I told you making giant robots while drunk and stoned was a bad idea. Just because it's with Bruce doesn't make it team-building..."

The titan reaches down a hand with fingers each the size of a tall man. It sways to the side then swats the cart through a third-floor window. The star-spangled man stares up at it, then runs.

"Hey! Over here!"

The shield slices through the air and clangs off the giant's head. It pounds off, after the man, and a few moments later they have both disappeared around the corner, no evidence of their presence but the shaking earth and the few cabbages still rolling about on the street.


End file.
